My mother is 78 and cries about never having grandchildren. Not performatively, not manipulatively. She just quietly grieves a thing she assumed her life would include, and my sister's decision, which I respect in the abstract, has a casualty sitting in a kitchen in Ohio. We talk about reproductive choices as if they happen in a vacuum, but families are systems, and every choice ripples. I'm not saying anyone owes their parents grandchildren. I'm saying the 'it affects no one but me' framing is false, and everyone saying it knows someone it affected.
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